A bride begrudging...

I have a confession..I don't always serve with a compliant and happy heart. *gasp* I know, I know...shocking. I struggle with being thankful and giving cheerfully. I dislike sacrifice and hard work when something fun is out there waiting. Actually, it doesn't have to even be fun, it just has to be EASIER...isn't that sad?
In church this week, we were reminded that a Christian is part of a culture of sacrifice. Not for the notoriety of being a martyr or some kind of badge of honor recipient...but for the joy. Yes..for the JOY of sacrifice. Is that even possible you might ask? Let me tell you a little story...of how God might see what he receives from us, and why we might just be better off keeping our little tokens if we can't give them in the right attitude.

A few weeks back, was my birthday (and in the same week always falls Valentines Day..which also happens to be the anniversary of my engagement to my hubby)...this particular year, my husband was on a missions trip to Ghana, West Africa and missed both. In addition, finances have been mucho tight and so...I did not receive anything but a phone call and well wishes from him via Skype. I tend to be a gift LOVING person..it's one of my love languages...and so I was hoping that despite the trip and despite the finances, my husband would pony up and surprise me with a gift that I had expressed interest in multiple times (hint ,hint!) Alas, this was not to be. Casting reason and logic aside, I continued to hound him about said item and "lovingly" hinted about it, threw it around in random conversation, mentioned it in his vicinity to others, etc. All in all, being very annoying...(Did I just admit that in writing???) I wanted this sacrifice from him SO badly...wanted to know that he loved me to the point of doing something unwise financially just to make me feel like he cared. (I am so sad sometimes...I digress...)
This led to a climactic scene in Best Buy when I Oh, so gently showed him what I wanted in person and touted all it's magnificence. I even used my sweet and tender voice. Can you believe he still said NO and we had to walk out of that store together lacking in the precious device???!!
This is where my finest moment occurred....I threw a fit. I whined, I begged, I tried to use guilt to get my way...and then, you know what...I annoyed him so greatly, that he turned around and started to walk back into the store. He was so mad, he was going to buy it for me! Ah! Success! Right? Nope. At that moment, I didn't want it anymore. I mean, I did want IT, just not that way. How could I enjoy a gift given to me just to get me off his back? Was that REALLY what I wanted? No...what I wanted was the heart behind the gift...and if I got the gift, but not his heart...I wouldn't even be able to enjoy it. It would be a constant reminder that I got my way, but lost my husband. Not worth it. Not at all.

This makes me think of our Lord and Father. He asks us for things all the time (albeit not in my fallen annoying way)...our obedience, our time, our finances, but what he is really after is our hearts. If we do all he asks, but only to "get Him off our backs"...is that really what he wants from us? Remember Cain and Abel?...two brothers, two sacrifices. What made one acceptable over the other? The heart behind the sacrifice. To one brother, Abel, it was a gift to God, showing His love. The other, an offer made out of compulsion...out of necessity...out of wrong motives. Both brothers were revealing their hearts to God, only one was giving his TO God.
Now let's look at the ultimate gift, Jesus Christ. He went to the cross. Why? Out of sheer necessity? Did he hem and haw about it and make a big scene? No. He gave freely. He gave with joy. He gave in love. This is how WE know what love is...Jesus Christ, laid down His life, for us! And honestly, we didn't even know we wanted or needed him to! It was heaven's great surprise of love. We didn't even have to ask!

Is there something that God has been asking of you? Have you been giving to Him out of the wrong motivations? Perhaps fear or obligation have motivated you. Maybe this the the time to sit down and think about why you are doing what you are doing...and get your heart right with God about it. Change your attitude from one that is like a bride begrudging (or in my case a groom) to one who looks forward to the giving of whatever has been asked for. Because unlike sad little me...God never whines or throws a fit to get his way. He simply waits, heart open, arms open, for his bride to give Him their most valuable possession...themselves.